Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
