Christians are straight up FREAKS
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
