Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
