everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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