i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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