He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
