Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
