drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
