I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I got her a Nickelback box set.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
