At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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