We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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