Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
