Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
