i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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