That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
