Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
