i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
