This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
