the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
