In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize