wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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