OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize