So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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