i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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