Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
