the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
