On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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