You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
