The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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