I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
