And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize