this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you had me at cake vodka
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
