She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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