Swine flu. Run for my life!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
