he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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