In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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