I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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