I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
