Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
