I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
