he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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