tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
