Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
