I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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