Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I think I have vodka in my lungs
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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