so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
