I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
