normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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