we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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