I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
