Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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