it was like eating out sand paper
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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