shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
