this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
