CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
