I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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