he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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