do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
