my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
