I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize