We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
