If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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