Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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