Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize