we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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