You work out of a Hotel?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
